>The Daily Star is reporting that Manchester United’s soccer star Wayne Rooney has been healed from his injuries by reading the Old Testament. According to the report, Rooney injured himself after falling over a piece of equipment.

The report says that Rooney hoped that reading “passages from the 3,000-year-old fire-and-brimstone texts” of the Old Testament would help him recover from his injuries. The Daily Star report says that his right ankle was twisted and badly bruised and he was ruled out for four weeks until he made a miraculous recovery by reading the stories of Moses, David, Solomon and Samson.

The lesson: If soccer players in England can become better players by reading the Old Testament, then baseball players in the United States need to learn a very important lesson: they don’t need steroids in order to become better players; they need to read the Old Testament.

NOTE: This post was originally written on December 17, 2007. The post was saved as a draft and never published.

Claude Mariottini
Professor of Old Testament
Northern Baptist Seminary

Tags: Baseball, Soccer, Steroids, Wayne Rooney